Given that I have clients that have or are working their way through codependance and I too was in one of my previous relationships I have decided to expand on this as I have in the book that I have written and now is with my publisher. Actually everything I write in this group is copywritten and will be included in another book. And soon I will be interviewing a leading expert on this. Stay tuned. But for now below is what I have come to know. And think about the songs written that reflect the need to be needed.
Understanding Codependency and Neediness
Codependency is a complex and often misunderstood issue that involves a dissolution of one’s own energy into another person. It's more than just empathy; it's about losing yourself entirely within another person's experience and needs. And this can include your children.
WHAT IS CODEPENDENCY?
Codependency occurs when you cannot distinguish between your own identity and the person you're entangled with. You live for them, thinking you're making decisions for yourself, but in reality, you're driven by their needs and desires. This results in an inability to make healthy decisions for yourself because you're no longer acting as an independent individual.
THE TRAGIC IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY
I've seen the effects of codependency firsthand through clients who constantly sacrifice their own potential for someone else’s needs. And I too at one time experienced this. This behavior often goes unrecognized by those who are codependent, as they believe everyone operates this way. They don't see it as a problem, which makes it challenging to address.
THE CHARACTERISTICS OF CODEPENDENCY
Loss of Self: Codependent individuals often lose their sense of self, merging their identity with another person.
Extreme Neediness: This behavior represents the ultimate form of neediness, where one's entire existence revolves around another person.
Inability to Recognize the Problem: Codependent people typically don't see their behavior as problematic. They think it's normal and get defensive when confronted.
Pattern of Folding: They repeatedly conform to the other person’s desires, believing the other person is always right.
THE SLIMMING EFFECT OF NEEDINESS
Neediness doesn't just affect your emotional well-being; it also impacts your physical health. The constant stress and anxiety that come from feeling overly dependent on someone else can take a toll on your body, leading to weight loss and other health issues. This "slimming" effect is not healthy or sustainable, as it is driven by emotional turmoil rather than positive lifestyle choices.
BREAKING FREE FROM CODEPENDENCY
To overcome codependency, individuals need to spend significant time alone—typically around six months—without engaging in any relationships. This period of solitude helps them rediscover their identity and learn who they are outside of another person’s influence.
During this time, they can start to understand their own needs and boundaries, which is essential for forming healthier relationships in the future. However, achieving this level of self-awareness and independence is incredibly challenging for most codependent individuals.
CONCLUSION
Codependency is a deeply ingrained issue that requires self-awareness and a willingness to change. The journey involves recognizing the problem, spending time alone to rediscover oneself, and learning to establish healthy boundaries. While it’s a difficult path, regaining a sense of self is crucial for building fulfilling and balanced relationships.
My heart goes out to those struggling with codependency. It's a challenging condition, but with patience and the right support, it is possible to overcome and lead a healthier, more independent life.
Breathe Believe Transfrom.
Collitalks.
Love and soul hugs
Comments